I have realized over the past month that the key to health and fitness is being nice to yourself.
I’m sure I’ve read this somewhere before but it never stuck with me. I have constantly said horrible things to myself to try and stay motivated, for example; “No fatty, you don’t need a cookie, eat a damn carrot instead!” or “Oh, you decided to stop and walk? You are so lazy and are never going to be fit” and basically just constantly calling myself names and being a bully.
These things are not motivating or helpful at all. So now when I stop to walk because I really don’t think I can go any further, instead of thinking things like
I think things like
I do not want to get injured. I do not want to give up. I have eaten a cookie, and it’s okay.
Running has given me an entirely different perspective. I care less about how I look and care more about what I can do and what is healthy.
I ran 2 miles without stopping in 20 minutes. I think a 10 minute mile is pretty average but what was so great is that I have never run 2 miles in my entire life. It was the perfect run. I downloaded the Nike Running app, which in a female voice tells you when you’ve reached a mile. I was breathing easily, the weather was gorgeous and I was determined to hear that I had made it 2 miles. My headband wasn’t trying to slide off and my headphones weren’t slapping me in the face. There were quite a few people on the path that day and I had to pass them which was uncomfortable but empowering at the same time. I saw a hill up ahead and my mind started screaming, “NO WAY!!! YOU CAN NOT RUN ANY LONGER!!” and I calmly said back to it, “it’s okay, we’re almost there. We have to be close.”
Sure enough, right before I reached the hill this beautiful and amazing voice came through my headphones and said to me “You have run 2 miles.” I was ecstatic! I think I actually squealed in the process of throwing my hands in the air and doing some awkward kind of dance move. It was an amazing feeling.
Yesterday, I went out to run with the anticipation of running 2 miles again.
I got home from work and could not find any of my workout clothes. I tried on a bunch of pants and none of them were going to work for running, so I put on some tights and decided I’d wear some shorts ( the tights were for chaffing because yes, my legs rub together). In the process of looking for shorts the dresser drawer fell out, landed in the cat dish and poured water all over everything. I proceeded to pick some underwear and a pair of socks out of the water dish and throw them in the laundry basket and leave the water on the floor. All the while both the cats were under my feet meowing at me for attention. Not finding any shorts, I decided I would just throw some leggings on over the tights (I was not about to try to take them off after the ordeal I just went through to get them on). After getting the leggings on and finding a pair of dry socks, I went looking for my good sports bra, which I couldn’t find. I put on the crappy one and two tank tops with built in bras hoping this would keep the girls under control. Now, I was ready, and I was going to run.
I pulled in to the park and thankfully no one was there. I went to grab my headphones and they were wet. Apparently one of the cans I had moved out of the cup holder wasn’t empty and it spilled directly on my headphones. I dried them off, put them in, got out of the car, pressed start on my app and started running. I was going to run dammit and nothing was going to stop me! I made it about 20 steps before realizing the annoying feeling on my face was my glasses that I had forgotten to take off. I ran back to my car and threw them in. I didn’t make it far before my calves started throbbing, my hip started hurting, and my 2 tank tops were riding up and exposing that weird stomach pooch that tights give you because they’re pressing into your belly button and pushing your chunk down (ladies, you know what I’m talking about). On top of the chunk roll and the body pains there was this obnoxious up-beat techno-pop shit “music” blasting in my ears and getting on my last nerve. I kept telling myself that the beautiful voice was coming with good news but when she finally came, she sounded computerized and taunting. It said, “you have run one mile”.
I had only gone 1 mile and thought I was going to die. I had to stop.
Now for a minute I turned in to that bully again, “Oh look at you, you were SOO proud of yourself for the 2 miles, you just thought you’d be able to come out here and do it again. Well you can’t, because you suck and you barely made it a mile before you had to stop!”
I stopped that train of thought and instead said “it’s okay, every day can’t be a good day. You’re out here, you’re trying, and you’re succeeding.”
This kind of positive reinforcement gave me the motivation to run more, walk, and run again.
(Yes, I am constantly talking to myself while I’m running. There is no peace and quiet time in my head; it is a never ending battle.)
It’s not always easy. It’s certainly not always fun. But all those aggravations are worth it because of how I felt when I ran 2 miles and how much better I feel in general.
I am going to start doing some bodyweight workouts. This is the most reasonable beginner routine that I found.
- Bodyweight squats – 8-10 reps
- Push-ups (or knee-push-ups) – 5-8 reps
- Plank – hold for 15 seconds
- Jumping Jacks – 15 reps
- Bodyweight Reverse Lunges – 6 reps per leg
- Lying Hip Raise (double or single leg) – 10 reps
I’m supposed to do 4 sets and that counts as one workout.
I’m going to start doing this three days a week, and running three days a week.
This should make for some fun blog entries. 😉
I’m not focusing as much on weight, although I do plan to weigh myself on October 1st. Instead, I’m trying to focus on how far I can go, how my clothes fit (I think my boobs have lost more weight than any other part of my body) and how I feel.
I found some before pictures that I took back in March. I might share these eventually but right now they’re still pretty scary.
I’m trying to eat clean and shop more locally. I’m going to the local Farmers Market in town tomorrow morning and trying to see if I can find some farmers who sell grass fed beef and free range chicken.
This past Monday marked 3 months sober!!
Oh and I am officially registered for my first 5K on November 1st!!
Hopefully I’ll have a perfect running day instead of a pain in the ass, aggravating, drive you absolutely mad kind of running day. But if it does turn out to be bad I’ll try to make sure everyone gets a good laugh from it!! 🙂
(Thought I’d share a not so sweaty pic)
Thanks for reading.