Yesterday I decided to run to the grocery store to grab a quick lunch. I was going to be in and out of there in no time. All I needed was a can of tuna and an avocado. I went to the aisle with the canned meat and I grabbed my usual “Chicken of the Sea Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water.” Because I am halfway through Whole30 I decided to look at the label to make sure it was compliant. This is what I found,

an ingredients list a mile long. I began looking at the other brands around it and found that the lists were shorter but at the bottom they all read “Contains Soy.” Why exactly does my tuna need to contain soy? I’m not sure. I was expecting to see “Tuna, Water, and Salt” not an entire novel. I then went to the Organic section and spent $3.99 for one can of tuna instead of $1.61 for a can of a million little things.

In the 17 days that I’ve been participating in Whole30 I have noticed this kind of label trickery more and more. For example, honey and molasses are listed instead of sugar even though those ingredients have sugar added to them. Labels that at the bottom say “Contains Wheat” even though there’s nothing wheat related in the ingredients. And then there are the not so hidden ingredients; sugar is the third ingredient in bacon, corn syrup is the third ingredient in Italian Sausage, sugar is the third ingredient in Peanut Butter (or Molasses if it’s “Natural” Peanut Butter). I do not want or need sugar in my bacon, corn syrup in my sausage, molasses in my peanut butter, or soy in my tuna. When I complete Whole30 I will continue to read the labels and spend the extra money to get something with two ingredients instead of ten, because in this case less really is more.

Play Nice

Play Nice

I have realized over the past month that the key to health and fitness is being nice to yourself.
I’m sure I’ve read this somewhere before but it never stuck with me. I have constantly said horrible things to myself to try and stay motivated, for example; “No fatty, you don’t need a cookie, eat a damn carrot instead!” or “Oh, you decided to stop and walk? You are so lazy and are never going to be fit” and basically just constantly calling myself names and being a bully.

These things are not motivating or helpful at all. So now when I stop to walk because I really don’t think I can go any further, instead of thinking things like
Saying this to myself over and over today! I'm hurting! lol
fitness motivation: suck it up and someday you won't have to suck it in
I think things like
exercise quote: YES!!! don't quit!  starting puts you ahead of everyone else who never tried!
I've heard it told that the hate of one's body is what causes people to exercise. This always seemed so backed up to me.

I do not want to get injured. I do not want to give up. I have eaten a cookie, and it’s okay.
Running has given me an entirely different perspective. I care less about how I look and care more about what I can do and what is healthy.

I ran 2 miles without stopping in 20 minutes. I think a 10 minute mile is pretty average but what was so great is that I have never run 2 miles in my entire life. It was the perfect run. I downloaded the Nike Running app, which in a female voice tells you when you’ve reached a mile. I was breathing easily, the weather was gorgeous and I was determined to hear that I had made it 2 miles. My headband wasn’t trying to slide off and my headphones weren’t slapping me in the face. There were quite a few people on the path that day and I had to pass them which was uncomfortable but empowering at the same time. I saw a hill up ahead and my mind started screaming, “NO WAY!!! YOU CAN NOT RUN ANY LONGER!!” and I calmly said back to it, “it’s okay, we’re almost there. We have to be close.”
Sure enough, right before I reached the hill this beautiful and amazing voice came through my headphones and said to me “You have run 2 miles.” I was ecstatic! I think I actually squealed in the process of throwing my hands in the air and doing some awkward kind of dance move. It was an amazing feeling.


Yesterday, I went out to run with the anticipation of running 2 miles again.
I got home from work and could not find any of my workout clothes. I tried on a bunch of pants and none of them were going to work for running, so I put on some tights and decided I’d wear some shorts ( the tights were for chaffing because yes, my legs rub together). In the process of looking for shorts the dresser drawer fell out, landed in the cat dish and poured water all over everything. I proceeded to pick some underwear and a pair of socks out of the water dish and throw them in the laundry basket and leave the water on the floor. All the while both the cats were under my feet meowing at me for attention. Not finding any shorts, I decided I would just throw some leggings on over the tights (I was not about to try to take them off after the ordeal I just went through to get them on). After getting the leggings on and finding a pair of dry socks, I went looking for my good sports bra, which I couldn’t find. I put on the crappy one and two tank tops with built in bras hoping this would keep the girls under control. Now, I was ready, and I was going to run.

I pulled in to the park and thankfully no one was there. I went to grab my headphones and they were wet. Apparently one of the cans I had moved out of the cup holder wasn’t empty and it spilled directly on my headphones. I dried them off, put them in, got out of the car, pressed start on my app and started running. I was going to run dammit and nothing was going to stop me! I made it about 20 steps before realizing the annoying feeling on my face was my glasses that I had forgotten to take off. I ran back to my car and threw them in. I didn’t make it far before my calves started throbbing, my hip started hurting, and my 2 tank tops were riding up and exposing that weird stomach pooch that tights give you because they’re pressing into your belly button and pushing your chunk down (ladies, you know what I’m talking about). On top of the chunk roll and the body pains there was this obnoxious up-beat techno-pop shit “music” blasting in my ears and getting on my last nerve. I kept telling myself that the beautiful voice was coming with good news but when she finally came, she sounded computerized and taunting. It said, “you have run one mile”.
I had only gone 1 mile and thought I was going to die. I had to stop.
Now for a minute I turned in to that bully again, “Oh look at you, you were SOO proud of yourself for the 2 miles, you just thought you’d be able to come out here and do it again. Well you can’t, because you suck and you barely made it a mile before you had to stop!”
I stopped that train of thought and instead said “it’s okay, every day can’t be a good day. You’re out here, you’re trying, and you’re succeeding.
This kind of positive reinforcement gave me the motivation to run more, walk, and run again.
(Yes, I am constantly talking to myself while I’m running. There is no peace and quiet time in my head; it is a never ending battle.)

It’s not always easy. It’s certainly not always fun. But all those aggravations are worth it because of how I felt when I ran 2 miles and how much better I feel in general.

I am going to start doing some bodyweight workouts. This is the most reasonable beginner routine that I found.

  • Bodyweight squats – 8-10 reps
  • Push-ups (or knee-push-ups) – 5-8 reps
  • Plank – hold for 15 seconds
  • Jumping Jacks – 15 reps
  • Bodyweight Reverse Lunges – 6 reps per leg
  • Lying Hip Raise (double or single leg) – 10 reps

I’m supposed to do 4 sets and that counts as one workout.
I’m going to start doing this three days a week, and running three days a week.
This should make for some fun blog entries. 😉
I’m not focusing as much on weight, although I do plan to weigh myself on October 1st. Instead, I’m trying to focus on how far I can go, how my clothes fit (I think my boobs have lost more weight than any other part of my body) and how I feel.
I found some before pictures that I took back in March. I might share these eventually but right now they’re still pretty scary.
I’m trying to eat clean and shop more locally. I’m going to the local Farmers Market in town tomorrow morning and trying to see if I can find some farmers who sell grass fed beef and free range chicken.
This past Monday marked 3 months sober!!
Oh and I am officially registered for my first 5K on November 1st!!
Hopefully I’ll have a perfect running day instead of a pain in the ass, aggravating, drive you absolutely mad kind of running day. But if it does turn out to be bad I’ll try to make sure everyone gets a good laugh from it!! 🙂

(Thought I’d share a not so sweaty pic)

Thanks for reading.

Aint nothing gonna break my stride!

Aint nothing gonna break my stride!

Oh but something will certainly try to.

I decided to start running, well more like jogging. It’s hard and exhausting but I do enjoy it and it feels great. However, little things are trying to get in my way. The sabotaging voice is not just a voice after all.

I went to the beach with my family in the beginning of August and my sister and I decided to jog every morning. My legs didn’t throb, I didn’t get any side cramps, but I could not breathe. I could not catch my breath, even after we stopped running.
Natalee tried to give me advice, thinking that I was probably just breathing wrong and nothing seemed to work. I did not run after we got back from the beach, and I basically stopped exercising.
I went to the doctor for the first time in about 4 years, and after a PF test and a chest x-ray it turns out I had bronchitis. Well, that explains the coughing fits after a burst of laughter. 
Anyhow, this was very exciting news for me. The doctor told me after I finished antibiotics and used an inhaler for a couple weeks; I shouldn’t have any breathing problems during exercise.

My goal last week was to be able to run a mile without stopping.
I started on Wednesday. I was a little nervous that it was too soon to be able to tell a difference with my lungs since I had just finished my antibiotics but I really wanted to test it out. I pressed start on the Charity Miles App and started jogging. I made it half a mile in 6 minutes and was completely out of breath. I actually thought I was going to throw up. I ignored the sabotaging voice that was saying things like,
“This is pointless.”
“You suck!”
“hahahaha, you can’t even run longer than 6 minutes”
Instead, I walked for 3 more miles and decided I’d come back the next day.

The next day was hot, humid and very sticky. I only ran for 3 minutes before the vomit feeling showed up. I tuned out the voice again and said to myself, “It’s okay! You’re out here, you’re trying, keep going at your own pace.” I walked, I seemed to catch my breath a lot quicker, and started jogging again. I did this walk/jog for 2.7 miles before deciding it was too hot to go any longer.

The third day was much nicer. There was actually a breeze. I made it .8 miles.

I took Saturday off, because my ankle didn’t feel quite right and I didn’t want to push too hard and end up injured and unable to continue.

Yesterday, I was going for the mile.
And here is when the sabotaging voice, became a sabotaging force.
I put my headphones in, pressed play on my work out tunes, and pressed start on the Charity Miles App. I started jogging. As I’m jogging, my headphone cord starts smacking me in the face. I tuck it in to my shirt, without stopping and while trying not to trip over anything. I get back into the flow and my headphones start pulling out of my ears because the cord is stuffed down my shirt. I pull the cord back out and just decide to let it smack me in the face. The wonderful feeling and rhythm of my feet hitting the ground, one after another was accompanied by this cord slapping me in the face over and over. I ignore it. I am determined to go the mile. I begin sweating. As gross as it is, I don’t really mind it because it means I’m working hard. The sweat makes my bangs get wet and they too, begin smacking me in the face. It’s fine, whatever, I can ignore those too. 
The first song finishes and the sabotaging voice starts telling me that I have to pee. I do not have to pee. I just used the restroom before I started running and it’s only been like 4 minutes. Add that to my ignore list. I decide to focus on my breathing, because it hasn’t been bothering me and I’m super excited about this. Then I get a side cramp. You know the kind that makes you want to distort your body to one side to make it not feel like that anymore? Yeah, that kind.  But it’s okay I’ll focus on the music and ignore that too. Sail is a really great song, very distracting. I almost really don’t care about the cord hitting my chin, the bangs that keep hitting my right eyeball, the feeling that I have to pee, and the side cramp. It’s all good; I’m just focusing on the music. Pandora then decides it’s time for an advertisement. In my head I’m screaming,
I’m starting to think I’m going to quit. I look at how far I’ve gone as another song starts and I’m at .8. I have to keep going.
When I looked and it said 1.06 all of those things disappeared (mainly because I stopped running). I was ecstatic! My legs were on fire, I was drenched with sweat, but I was happy. Not only was I super proud of myself, but I could still breathe too!        Adrienne: 1          Sabotaging Voice/Force: 0

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Sweaty with success!

As far as eating healthy goes, I’m feeling a lot better than I was at the beginning of the month (The Big Reveal (The Big Breakdown)). I’ve been reading a lot about Paleo and I like it. But I also like dairy. I watched Food Inc. too and that’s been on my mind a lot. As of right now I’m basically just using common sense about food and doing smaller portions: unlimited veggies, some fruit, and protein; mostly chicken, (although Food Inc. has made this difficult for me) and fish. I’m doing some red meat from time to time, Greek yogurt and yogurt dressings, nuts, some dark chocolate, and limited amounts of cheese. I’m not eating any bread, pasta, tortillas, rice, oats, or grains. This is mainly because it’s easier for me to cut it out completely than to moderate it. I’m also not eating pork (even bacon), corn or potatoes.

Chicken and “Pasta” Salad, without the pasta.

image (3)
Steak, Mashed Cauliflower, Asparagus

image (2)
Cauliflower “Home Fries”

I’ll be honest, I’ve cheated sometimes. I’ve had some tortilla chips and salsa, I’ve grabbed a French Fry off of Kenny’s plate when they look too good to resist. I haven’t given up my flavored coffee creamer (or coffee for that matter), and I still use small amounts of butter. But overall, still healthy, still sober (85 days), and I feel great!

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna to break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'”