March Kindness

You might be wondering where I’ve been…
Well let’s just say I spent the month of March making up for Whole30 February. I ate pizza, Mexican, fried chicken, and even McDonald’s. I had cookies, ice-cream, cake and candy bars. It was disgusting and delicious. I of course felt exhausted, fat and miserable for most of the month too. I decided to start this month off with a cleanse. For three days I am eating nothing but apples, drinking water, tea and coffee. I’m on the third day right now. I’ve felt a little lightheaded, I’ve been hungry pretty much the whole time and I can’t look at Pinterest at all.
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At the end of the day today I’m supposed to drink a tablespoon of Olive Oil and then gradually start eating other foods. I’ve decided to try to do three days with just greens after this (spinach, kale, salads, romaine, etc.) and then slowly start introducing protein. I’m also going back to my weight lifting routine (I was benching 100 pounds last month) and who knows, maybe I’ll join a gym or go to some fitness classes. It is spring after all, the time when everyone starts panicking because bathing suit season is right around the corner.

Basically, I’m still around. This is a lifelong journey. I may never have a 6 pack or become a fitness junkie but I will continue to challenge myself and test my will power. I’m not fighting for perfection I’m just trying to be the best version of me I can be. And maybe that person isn’t skinny and built, maybe the best me is the one that bakes delicious treats and is much softer to hug.


This is the End

Today is the last day of Whole30. For twenty-nine days I haven’t had any sugar, pasta, bread, milk, butter, cream, chocolate, cheese, beans, and the list goes on. I slipped up once or twice with things I didn’t realize had sugar in it (coconut flakes, mandarin oranges) but I think that’s to be expected in the beginning. Here is what I discovered, the good and the bad;

I love oranges.
Braeburn Apples are delicious.
Ghee is not as nasty as it looks or sounds.
I could never eat another piece of grilled chicken and that would be ok.
Salads are good, even without dressing.
I had heartburn almost every day.
Besides the heartburn my stomach felt better than it ever has.
I was hungry all the time.
I did not lose a single pound, however, my before and after pictures tell a different story.
I developed acne.
I had more energy than I thought I could have without sugar or caffeine.
I slept through the night.
I felt more alert, mentally and physically.
Would I do it again? Probably not to the extremes they require.

The best part about the whole experience is that I completed it. I followed it through until the end. I didn’t cheat and I didn’t give up.

As far as tomorrow goes, I intend to indulge in the largest piece of cake I can find. I’ll let you know if it tastes as good as I imagine it will.

Sorry I’m not posting my before and after pictures. Bra and underwear pictures on the internet aren’t really my thing.


Yesterday I decided to run to the grocery store to grab a quick lunch. I was going to be in and out of there in no time. All I needed was a can of tuna and an avocado. I went to the aisle with the canned meat and I grabbed my usual “Chicken of the Sea Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water.” Because I am halfway through Whole30 I decided to look at the label to make sure it was compliant. This is what I found,

an ingredients list a mile long. I began looking at the other brands around it and found that the lists were shorter but at the bottom they all read “Contains Soy.” Why exactly does my tuna need to contain soy? I’m not sure. I was expecting to see “Tuna, Water, and Salt” not an entire novel. I then went to the Organic section and spent $3.99 for one can of tuna instead of $1.61 for a can of a million little things.

In the 17 days that I’ve been participating in Whole30 I have noticed this kind of label trickery more and more. For example, honey and molasses are listed instead of sugar even though those ingredients have sugar added to them. Labels that at the bottom say “Contains Wheat” even though there’s nothing wheat related in the ingredients. And then there are the not so hidden ingredients; sugar is the third ingredient in bacon, corn syrup is the third ingredient in Italian Sausage, sugar is the third ingredient in Peanut Butter (or Molasses if it’s “Natural” Peanut Butter). I do not want or need sugar in my bacon, corn syrup in my sausage, molasses in my peanut butter, or soy in my tuna. When I complete Whole30 I will continue to read the labels and spend the extra money to get something with two ingredients instead of ten, because in this case less really is more.

20 More Days…


I really want to write something. I’ve started about four posts now and they’ve all sucked. I’m not feeling particularly funny or creative. So, I will just say this about these past 10 days, bacon is my new best friend (sugar free of course) and so is almond butter on top of a banana. I gave up trying to drink coffee, that stuff is disgusting without half and half. I’ve had massive headaches, fatigue, shakiness and body weakness, along with complete raging bitch moments that involved wanting to give up and eat an entire box of Ritz crackers in one sitting (that’s the only thing in my house not Whole30 compliant). I seem to be out of the woods finally. I don’t have the sugar withdrawal symptoms that I did the first few days (did you know the average American eats 3lbs of sugar a week? No wonder I had headaches) and I don’t feel as raging. I do still want to eat a bacon cheeseburger with fries and wash it down with a milkshake and a piece of pie. I hate going to the grocery store because I am forced to walk passed cookies, cakes, bread, pasta, cereal, milk, and every other delicious thing I’m denying myself for February. When March comes I have every intention of celebrating by eating ribs, baked beans and pasta salad and then having some cake. After that, I will re-address my eating habits and what should stick and what shouldn’t. For now, I’ll just keep pushing through.  20 more days!

No More Cake

No More Cake

Today is the start to Whole30. I have taken a lot of steps that have led me closer and closer to following these rules already. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t drink soda, and I try to avoid fast food.

My biggest struggle is going to be sweets.
The other night driving home I went out of my way to find a Krispy Crème doughnut. I already ate, I didn’t need a custard filled, chocolate frosted doughnut to wash it down. But I wanted one, and so I got one and I loved and hated every minute of eating it. 
People get addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, sugar, etc. And by people I mean me. I have been addicted to all of those things. I have proudly broken most of those addictions. But since I was 12 I have had a love hate relationship with food that is very similar to an alcoholic’s relationship with liquor; late night trips for candy bars, lying about how many cookies I’ve had, saying things like “I deserve this box of Oreos” and “I’ve had a hard day so I can eat a brownie sundae” and so on. And now Whole30 is going to make me stop all of that. I can’t eat a king size snickers bar at 10pm because I feel like it, and I can’t save my 1200 calories for the day to eat half of an apple pie. Instead, when I’m craving something rich, sweet and creamy like peanut butter fudge or cheesecake I’m going to have to eat a banana. And no, I’m not even allowed to freeze it, blend it, add cocoa to it and make it taste like ice-cream because apparently that won’t help break the viscous food cycle like Whole30 wants me to. So here’s to 30 days, 30 days of dt’s, headaches, withdrawal, night sweats and hallucinations all because I can’t have my cake and eat it too. Actually, I can’t have cake at all, not even a little one, not even a cupcake. 
Oh good Lord.

Cheers to day 1.


So I took the month of December off and it put me back a few steps but I’m back on track and feeling fantastic. A week from tomorrow is 7 months booze free, I’m weighing in at 147 and I’m back on the workout train. For the past 9 days I’ve been eating 1200 calories a day, which is hard but it does allow me to save 300 calories for an end of the day candy bar :). On February 1st Kenny and I are going to start Whole30. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it basically means I can’t eat for 30 days. It will be a fun challenge though because my dad, Lisa, and my friend Jessica are all going to do it too. Anyone else want to join in? Whole30

Apparently 2015 is going to be all about challenges because I joined a 7 day ab challenge on Facebook. I have never done a Facebook challenge before but having 130 people all doing the same thing is very motivating. Last night was my first night with a 10 minute ab workout video. I looked ridiculous. In 10 minutes I fell over twice, I had to take 3 breaks, I did the easy version every time I could and when it was all said and done I wanted to cry. Instead of crying I decided to take a selfie…
And then I got up and did some bicep/triceps/back workouts in our gym. I couldn’t do the amount of reps the workout required but I still felt bad ass. I thought, “Hell yeah, I’m doing 15 reps with 20 pounds in each hand. I’m awesome!!” Then Kenny came home and told me I was only using 10 pound weights. Uhg!! It’s a start though, and before you know it I will be using 20 pounds, and then 25 and I’ll just keep adding more until I really am a bad ass.

We ended the day with some healthy slow cooked jerk pork with a mango salsa and brown rice.
Basically, I’m back and more motivated than ever!

Still Standing

It’s that time of year and that means everything gets a little bit harder, especially eating healthy.

Sorry you haven’t heard from me in a while. I haven’t completely fallen off the health wagon. I am still sober and still eating healthy. This past Saturday marks 5 months alcohol free. I have also made it the entire month of November without a candy bar. So I’m still rocking and rolling, kind of.

On November 1st it snowed in South Carolina. It was record breaking cold, it was raining, it was wet and icy and needless to say, I did not participate in the 5k. On an even worse note, the coughing has returned so running is on the back burner right now.

I’m going back to the doctor on December 5th and I’m not quite sure what will happen but the whole thing really pisses me off. And usually when one thing goes wrong I throw my hands up and completely give up. I have not done that this time, at least not completely. I haven’t been as strict with my food choices but when I look at what I used to eat, there’s a pretty significant improvement. Let me show you what I mean…

A typical day in May 2014:
Breakfast: Coffee with peppermint mocha coffee creamer or a white chocolate mocha from McDonald’s.
Snack: Pretzels or Cookies (if the cookie of the month came in).
Lunch: Wendy’s Ranch Chicken Club Sandwich (chicken served spicy and fried) with a large order of French Fries and a large Diet Coke (who wants the extra sugar of a regular?). Or a Big Mac Meal (large) from McDonald’s, or a 4 Piece Chicken Strip meal with French Fries and a Biscuit from Bojangles with a Sweet Tea (because I’m sure there’s less sugar in a sweet tea than there is in a regular soda).
Basically, I had a specific order for each fast food restaurant within a 10 mile radius.
Snack (again): A sharing size bag of peanut butter M&M’s (except I didn’t share).
Dinner: could be anything from Shake & Bake Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes and Green Beans, to Hamburger Helper, or a large pizza from Papa Johns (we’d eat it all), maybe fast-food again, or something with a lot of pasta.
Dessert: We would usually eat a very large bowl of Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream or I’d have a King Size Take-5 and Kenny would have Skittles, or sometimes cookies and milk. And dessert was never skipped.


A typical day now;
Breakfast: Coffee with a splash of half & half and a banana.
Lunch: A can of tuna and some vegetables or a turkey wrap or a salad. For a drink I have either a Seltzer Water or an Unsweetened Iced Tea. And every once in a blue moon I splurge and get a chicken salad sandwich on whole grain bread and a small fry.
Dinner: This is where I’ve been getting creative lately with different healthy items. Chili with 97% fat free beef, or something with spaghetti squash where I psych us out to think we’re eating pasta, and every once in a while we’ll go out to eat but we still try to order healthy meals. And ok, we have had a pizza in the past 2 months but we didn’t eat the whole thing.
Dessert: Usually we just end the night with hot tea (no honey) or I’ll blend up a frozen banana with some all natural peanut butter and cocoa to get rid of the ice cream craving.


So basically, when I start getting really hard on myself because I don’t feel like things are working or I start feeling like a failure, I think about all of this and realize just how far I’ve come. In 2013 those typical days would have included all of that junk food plus beer or wine, a pack of cigarettes, and 3-5 Mountain Dew’s. So no, I haven’t been running, and yes I have eaten some pizza, and yes, I even had a piece of cake on Kenny’s birthday but no, I am not giving up. I am not going to use the Holidays as an excuse to ruin the progress that I’ve made. If we can have a healthy Halloween then we can have a healthy Thanksgiving and Christmas too.

Tangerines, veggies, deviled eggs with organic mayo, all-natural tortilla chips and hummus)

Kenny and I have signed up for 4 Bikram Yoga classes, we’re looking into private MMA (mixed martial arts) lessons, and I am starting a Paleo Challenge on December 1st. In other words, I’m still around, still kickin, I’ve just got to start breathing before I can post more funny exercise stories!

Happy Holidays everyone and thanks for reading!