I’m pretty narcissistic. This blog is a good example of that. Once a week I write about myself, take photos and share them with the world. I write about body image, weight-loss, food-cravings, exercise and insecurities. I am aware of how lucky and blessed I am that my weekly concern is how many times I got to work out and if I lost any weight. I mean let’s be honest, I’m down right spoiled. So, why do I blog? There are a lot of reasons that involve my generation, keeping myself accountable and so on. But the main reason is for my twelve year old self. The overweight girl in a household of very thin beautiful people. The girl who stayed up at night googling eating disorders, diet plans and just searching for some motivation and understanding. I have not changed. She is still who I see sometimes when I look in the mirror. And she is the one that I want to impress, the one that I want to prove to that things can change.
Now, on with the proving!
I decided that for the next eighty-nine days I am not going to weigh, measure or take half-naked comparison photos. Instead of constantly looking for change and improvement in my appearance I’m just going to try and appreciate what I see right now when I look in the mirror. On top of that I want to spend more time focusing on the achievements I’m making with fitness and strength.
I have been reading a lot about positive body image this week. I’ve been trying to meditate at night and say nice things to myself, which of course led me to the idea of photographing my insecurities and slapping some positive affirmations onto them. Here’s what I came up with.
As far as exercising, the big accomplishment this week was moving up from Level 1 in the Jillian Michaels video to Level 2.
The last time I tried to do level 2 was probably three years ago. I had been doing Level 1 for awhile. I was feeling pretty confident and decided I would try to move up. Five minutes in I was sitting on the floor crying like a baby and I didn’t touch the video again until this year. Needless to say, I was a little nervous. Besides the awkwardness of doing certain moves for the first time it went WAY better than expected. Although, 8 minutes into the work-out this song came on Pandora “I can’t stop.” If you haven’t heard this song, all it says is “I can’t stop” over and over again. I was jumping back and forth trying to do this skiing movement and all I could think was, “No, I can. I can stop!”
It was a good time.
The second big success: 25 push ups, in a row, stiff as a board!!
I wanted to post a video of what I’m calling “3 pull-ups.” I’m not going all the way down, and the third one is still a pretty big struggle but seeing how 3 months ago I couldn’t even hang there, I’m calling this HUGE progress.
This was the first go round and I realized I wasn’t going down very far at all, plus I wanted Kenny to flip the camera.
The second time was significantly harder since my arms already wanted to fall off.
Thank you for taking the time to read, motivate and encourage. This narcissistic journey wouldn’t be complete without you 😉